Traveling alone felt like an unattainable dream, but today, I revel in the adventures of solo female travel.
I’m Melissa, and I transformed my deep-seated fears into empowering journeys.
Join me in this post as I reveal how I conquered the apprehension of solo travel and how this experience can be a turning point, not just in travel, but in life, infusing you with newfound strength and self-awareness
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How I Decided To Travel Alone For The First Time
I spent my early twenties obsessed with the idea of traveling abroad with a significant other.
We would go to Rome, we would go to Greece, it would be the most romantic time of my life!
And then I found myself turning 30… single and still desperately wanting to go to Europe! But, I was deadset on waiting for someone to travel with because I felt some sort of shame to travel alone.
For some reason I had it stuck in my head that going solo would signify that I was failing. Like I had failed in my quest to make a connection with someone and have a romantic adventure.
I was also convinced that I needed someone to go with to make the trip special.
And then one day a switch flipped and I realized that finding a connection with someone else would come second to finding a connection with myself.
So I booked my first solo trip. I went to Rome, the Almafi Coast, and Greece. I figured I better take that romantic trip I was saving for someone else and fall in love with myself again.
Looking For the Root of My Fear of Being Alone
Looking back now, I do know where some of my fears of being alone might have stemmed.
One of my TV show obsessions was Sex and the City. I loved this series so much, and still do! Sex and the City was a very provocative show exposing the realities of dating and being single after 30.
And even though I thought the overall message of the show was positive for women, I still saw all of their struggles being single as something I didn’t want.
My goal was to be married by 30 and never become one of my beloved characters on this show.
It wasn’t only the show Sex and the City that drilled this fear of being single after 30. The film Bridget Jones’s Diary had an impact as well.
Bridget was a single, over 30-year-old woman, slightly overweight and drinking too much. The fact she was unmarried and over 30, her life was considered “tragic”, I feared that for myself.
Those are just 2 of my top examples, but several more shows I loved to watch had similar themes. I felt for years that I was being judged and pitied for being single. I would have to answer questions like: “Why are you single?” Universally the worst question to have to answer.
The thought of having to answer that question was another reason I was ashamed to travel alone. Just thinking of a response would trigger the feeling of failure that was bottled up inside.
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Facing the Fear by Buying Plane Tickets
Now having revealed where my fear came from, let me tell you how to overcome it.
Facing this fear head-on, was the only way forward for me. Taking a short solo trip is really the best way to start.
You don’t have to jump the ocean on your first adventure, try to stay somewhere a few hours away by car.
And if that sounds a bit too scary, I encourage you to just go to a nice dinner alone in a restaurant.
It is really baby steps on your way to becoming someone who can travel alone and love it.
Just look at me, I have gone from being ashamed to travel alone, to openly encouraging others to do it!
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Letting Go Of Insecurities
For all of you who are reading this thinking, I could never do it, I could never travel alone.
I say to you, I understand, it doesn’t come naturally, but you can do this.
Like anything worth doing, it does take practice and patience. Even though I now consider myself a professional traveler, I still make mistakes and have little setbacks.
It’s all okay though, with every trip I learn how to do the next one better. Solo travel teaches you so much about who you are better than any class I’ve ever taken.
Just taking yourself on a trip to explore a new city is giving yourself the ultimate gift. Even treating yourself to a nice dinner at a restaurant is something you should do often.
Start practicing now, and in no time, you could be ready to eat alone in Italy.
Sitting by myself in a restaurant was one of my biggest hesitations about traveling alone.
What will people think? Will they think I’m a big loser? How pathetic will I look?
Now, I love eating alone. The trick is to have something to do. I edit pictures or start to dream up my next trip. It’s nice to have that quiet time for yourself.
Read Next: Benefits of Solo Travel
How to Travel Alone & Make Friends
If you want to avoid eating solo every night I would highly encourage a walking tour or bike tour. Tours are a great way to make a friend, which can turn into a dinner buddy at night.
You will be amazed at how many people you can meet if you are open to it. The best part about making friends on a day tour is that it’s low commitment.
If you want to try and make additional plans with people you meet, you can! Or you can go back to doing what you want.
I’m hoping by writing out my experience that you can read it and gain confidence within.
If you still aren’t convinced to go all by yourself, you can start by joining my small group trip!
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Embracing the Freedom of Solo Travel
As I reflect on my journey, the transformation from feeling ashamed to being proud of traveling alone has been nothing short of liberating.
Overcoming the fear of solo travel isn’t just about seeing new places; it’s about discovering your own strength, resilience, and the joy of being self-reliant.
It’s about learning to cherish your own company and embracing the freedom to explore the world on your own terms.
To those hesitant about taking that first solo trip, I say: the world is full of wonders waiting for you.
The fear you feel today is the boundary waiting to be crossed for a richer, more fulfilling tomorrow. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Take that step, embrace the uncertainty, and let the adventures begin. You might just find that the most rewarding journeys are the ones you take alone.
In solo travel, every challenge overcome is a celebration of your own spirit. So, pack your bags, leave your fears behind, and join the ranks of those who have found joy and empowerment in the beautiful journey of traveling alone. Let’s not just travel the world; let’s discover ourselves in it.
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Love this advice!
That is very important topic. I also travel alone a lot, I was never ashamed, but people asked me the same questions. So annoying sometimes!
It is always strange to me when people seem to be more concerned that I am alone, than I am. I just hope by putting this out there, more woman will feel a little bit more comfortable to try it : )
People always ask me why I’m traveling alone, and I just say, “I don’t know anyone else who can take between two and eight months off work every year, and who wants to visit places like… THIS!” while I gesture around us at the decrepit Soviet ruins or the pile of cow poop in the street!
Interesting that people never mind their own business. Thanks for the advise saving for later as I am planning to solo travel abroad in the coming year.
I’m 31 years old, I’m single and still waiting for someone to travel with because I have some health issues and i’m afraid to travel alone ?